♥, *Rin: A nightmare I might never awake from....

I know I've been neglecting my online diary for a way long time..

Sorry if all of you had to log in to see an untouched not-updated blog..

Life has been, I would say on the whole, on the downfall since I last updated..
Things haven't been going very smoothly for me.. Or should I say, for us all - born in the year of rabbits.

I have been feeling very cooped up, very depressed because I feel bogged down by many hiccups in all aspects of my life & I'm finding my way to find the light at the end of the tunnel.. I am trying very hard still & I promise when I do, I will make good out of the rebound. (:

I have been spending most of my time out either with my dad, my best friend or my boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend & I got back together.. Everything is so far so good all I would do now is to keep my fingers crossed. I certainly do not have the will to fight back for yet another setback.

Dad & I's relationship haven't been terribly bad but it haven't been kick ass either..

As for best friend, I love her as much as before and that it is a fact that will never change for the rest of my life... (:

I really have no idea what to blog about because I really missed out too much I don't know where to start.. So I'll just post random photos taken during this period of time:-

Check this out!
Best Friend & Favourite bunny Miffy in the same "CLOTHES"
=D

When I changed back my taillamp
=(

A very very CHIO & expensive rim ((:
(Not mine of course~ Haha)

TARANTULA
My favourite woo hoo~ ;)

Best Friend put the night at my place last night & she surprised me with this sweet little Minnie Mouse Balloon. I gasped when she came into my room with it and said that was for me...

ME: OH.... MY..... GODDDDD!!!!!!!!! Do you know who was the last person who gave me this?!?!

YC: Yah~ Of course I know... That's why I got it for you.....

She was like the sweetest girl ever! Thank you so so SO very much my girlie best!
*Truckloads of hugs & kisses*

- - - - - - - - - - -

Though I felt very sad deep down for I know this wasn't the same as the first that I got, but I was still happy that it was from my girlie best.

I will always remember for life, this sweet little gesture of yours....
Always & forever,
you'll be in my heart..

Where are you?
I wish you would come & communicate with me for the very last time..
Hear from your very own mouth, telling me the last words you have for me.. Tell me that you are doing even better up there than what you had down here.. & I'll be happy for you, and will then let you go.....

You know, I'm sorry I really really don't wish to talk about you here.
B'cus I don't want to well up tears in my readers who know you or bring the pain back to them..
But I am still bleeding in my heart.. It's still painful. Very painful down there..
I haven't got over the whole incident. I really haven't & I can't.

I have nobody to talk to.
I have nobody to tell how much I really missed you.
I have nobody to tell how much I regretted not making the effort to meet you up more often.
No one will really understand how I feel.
Except maybe for our very dear familyhoot. Who loves you as much as I do.
I can't talk to them.
I don't think we can talk about you;
Not because we don't want to,
Not because we've forgotten you.
But I guess nobody DARE to bring up your name...
Do you know that brother?

Tomorrow is 200%'s birthday celebration.
I'm used to that way:
Seeing 200% = I'll see you ; Seeing you = I'll see 200%
because the both of you were so close.. & I really don't know how it's going to be tomorrow..
Will I see 200% and then unknowingly look out for where you are and anticipate to give you a hug when I see you?
Will I?
I'm scared bro....
You're always in my mind....
Talk to me will you?
Please go to lin's dreams.. She's waiting for you each & every night..
& I'm sure same goes to your parents and all your loved ones..

I won't be greedy...
Even if I am the last on your list to enter into, I am willing to wait...
Just to hear from you that you are doing fine... Please?

I really miss you....

- - - - - - - - - -

Sweetest Gift & the most beautiful girl in my eyes...

TODAY......

OTOT Breakfast @ Kah Motor Refreshment Room
*OTOT = Own Time Own Target
Looking all freshed early in the morning despite only having 2hrs+ of sleep. Whoa~
O.O" Shagged!