♥, *Rin

I don't like the way I'm feeling now.


So sick. So vulnerable. So insecure. So stressed. It's like I lost total control of my life.
Whenever I steer my "steering wheel" straight, something just makes my "car" sway to a different direction. This sucks.


So many obstacles in a row. POA's like one of my weakest subject. Yesterday and today was UOL Revision classes conducted by lecturers from London. Yet, I was so sick I couldn't make it yesterday. & today, I only went for half a day. Took off during lunch break to Clementi Polyclinic.
Sharon & Xuan left with me because they wanted to accompany me. (They were afraid I would faint on my way out or something for SIM Management House wanna act atas and situate themselves so deep in Namly Ave -.-") I know.. So sweet right.. Sharon drove us there and both of them waited with me sooooo patiently without a single grumble. Like the sweetest can! & Sharon insisted on sending me home despite daddy calling me to offer to come pick me up..
Thanks a million for being a doll babe!! XOXO! ;D


Doc said if by Thursday the fever's back, I need to go back for a blood test for I'm suspected of Dengue. What the hell isn't it? I haven't a single bite at all~ But anyway, she did also mention that it's highly unlikely since my fever has already gone down..


Soo anyway, as I was saying, I don't like the way I'm feeling now because I feel like my life's being controlled. There's this invisible hand from up there pulling me off the ground on my collar and I'm dangling in mid-air.

Like this.
Except I'm not in such a luxurious position.

In times like this, I think I should quarantine myself and be alone.


Sometimes, I feel that I should live alone. Work alone. Eat alone. Sleep alone. Study alone. Shop alone. Watch movie alone. Live my life basically a l o n e.


That way, I don't have to face people's faces or attitudes. Neither do I have to put up with people who doesn't appreciate my effort except blame and nag at MY own doings.


Does anyone ever do self-reflection??