But I can't figure out the shit teletext. So I had to come online to check dad's return flight. Which also explains how I lost to temptation and decided to surf a bit of net. There goes my night later in an attempt to make up for my sins.
Yesterday, I was on an emotion roller coaster ride.
I was tired for not having slept enough.
I was happy. I was laughing like an idiot over Lionel's very racist comment when he claimed it was MY RACIST comment. -.-" & many other things which we self-entertained ourselves with for hours waiting for King Peng.
I was empathetic when I heard bout Jason's mishap to his car on his birthday.
Then was later speechless when the damages were insignificant & hardly visible.
I was very stressed for not being able to study whatever I had planned to. In fact, I didn't study the whole of yesterday.
I was touched and glad Kerlyn stayed by my side to put a smile on my face.
I was very angry with King Peng with bits and pieces here and there.
So angry and helpless my tears fell and it ignited a small flame to a forest fire.
But all was well and the night was ended with lots of love. =)
It was also a night which I question on my own doings. Something which I've always thought was fine so long as I was honest & I fill boyfriend in on every single bit of details. Though I admit that this is by far the latest and purest friendship that I am glad to have. A friendship which makes me happy. A friendship I can learn from. Be it cars, life, career, anything. But it never occured to me that this new "blessing" I would call it, that I found, actually bothered my precious. Blame it on my overlook, that I never even got the HINT of discomfort from him. My bad that I ought to be very ashamed of.
It kept me thinking for awhile before I managed to finally doze off to sleep. Despite the line that is already drawn very clear, I think I will draw one or 2 more lines to push myself back. To be honest, it upsets me to sacrifice this bit of friendship. Because he's such a happy go lucky guy, he reminds me to not always take every single bit in life so seriously, to liven up and not always stress myself. Don't be mistaken that I was forced to come to make such a decision. It's on a voluntary basis.
I tend to put my loved ones before myself. This characteristic is in my blood that I can never get rid of.
Sometimes, when dad needs to be picked up at 4am in the morning, & I'm already not feeling well, I would never tell dad to take a cab home but would never fail to pick him up in time. Because I can't bear to do so.
Same goes for my baby. I swore to myself, never to do anything to hurt him. & I stand firm on my stand still. Even if it causes him the slightest discomfort, I will stop. At least, I have decided to do so. It doesn't matter if eventually I would end up losing a friend in all, because I already have one very special friend, who is also my best friend, who is also my boyfriend, who is also my baby, who is also my apple boy, who is also my racer, who is also my King.
What more can I ask for?
A picture taken years ago during the lovey dovey days.Why such an old photo?
Because we were truly happy and in love back then.
& now, the present, nothing has changed. =)
Happy 22th anniversary, baby.
I love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment