♥, *Rin

Before Doctor KP Tan could even rescue my sickly computer, it crashed.
Oh gosh oh gosh, there goes all my songs, data and pictures. (Now when will I get my new computer??!)
Oh well, maybe it's a good time to start anew, certain pasts aren't meant to hold on to. Afterall, what's most important is, the beautiful memories are kept in a part of my heart. Those unpleasant ones, good to be rid off....




Right now, I am sitting in my aunt's bedroom, facing the pitch dark sky right out through the open window, cold hair blowing onto my face every now and then. My heart feels exactly like the chilly weather now.


I happen to chance into someone's past. This particular someone who plays a big part of my life now.. Funny why am I feeling so miserable? It isn't the first time I have seen it. But.. *shrug* I really don't know. Tears began to well up in my eyes as I briefly went through them. Each picture piercing my heart even deeper. Each picture stimulating more tears to well up in my eyes so much that my vision became blurrer and blurrer till it finally rolled down my cheeks.. How much I wish I could stop scrolling, how much I wished I haven decided to visit the site again, how much I wish I could turn back time and prolly not even switch on my aunt's laptop. But my mind and body can't seem to work in unison.


It made me feel inferior. Insignificant. So small and so helpless. I feel as though our love isn't as sweet and perfect, isn't as strong as what they both shared in the past. Why why why? Why do such thoughts even cloud up in my mind despite knowing how much he loves me now(I think)? Someone pinch me. Tell me those were the past and that it can never happen again.. Tell me that I am the present. Tell me that I am the one needed here. Tell me that no one can ever be as important compared to me. Tell me I am the nice girl that every guy will yearn for. No. HE will yearn for. Tell me that he will only be with me and stay with me and no one else.

Gosh, what exactly is wrong with me?!
This is hysterical.


Thank god this coming week is going to be an easy week for me. Followed by a month of break. No packed schedules, no tuition, no worries, no stress.
I think I need a break both mentally & physically.. I had too much to take for the past month. Students' exams, meeting family expectation, putting up with overbearing attitudes, relationship issues,
I'm tired.


Let me regain my self-confidence in this one month. I've lost it all for now..........