♥, *Rin

I had a little conversation with my dear girly Jorin just a while ago.
& I was telling her how all of us or even everyone are born to live a life full of regrets. Its just a matter of the amount & seriousness in the tone of regret.


The problem is, do we all have to go through regrets? Is it a must? If we do not have any does it mean we have not learnt anything or we have not grown up?



I know right at this point I should have already been more or less settled down. Already decided on what route I want to take for the next stepping stone in my life. I should have done this earlier. Why now? What is wrong with me? This is my future do I really not give a damn about it? True enough, I tell everyone I hate studying. Yes that's the truth. I'm not cut out to be an academic 'excel-ler'. This is not about lack of confidence but knowing your limits. Despite that, I am trying. Can anyone see? I am trying really hard. I am scared. Really scared. What if I can't cope? What if I fail terribly? What if what if.... .... Countless what ifs. But since I've decided, I will accept it and face it and put in my very best. This I promise myself. I promise no one but myself. I answer to no one but myself. Because this is what I wanted and this is my life.


Why then, did I start off my post with "regrets"? Back to what I mentioned earlier. "I should have done this earlier." I looked at other courses available at other universities. E.g. SMU. & this was what got me upset. Really really upset. Because SMU is offering a Bachelor of Laws Programme. & I figured out that this 4 year programme could make me eventually and Advocate and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of Singapore.

Since young, due to family influence, I have always strived and been motivated to practice law when I grow up. Ever since my lack of interest in studies and the bad influence of peers in secondary school, I gave up. Back then, the only route to get me to where I aspired, was to take the JC route. But it was a never possible option for me. I always loved studying what could be useful to the outside world & could benefit me for life. Other than that there was no way I could cultivate any interest. As a result, I dropped by A Math and didn't sit for the paper in my O'Levels. To me, it was damn stupid. You don't go see a client and say we need to stike this deal at sin /cos/ tangent 70 000 blah~ *rolls eyes*
Before I entered Temasek Polytechnic. I checked out the Diploma in Law. But that could only make me a lawyer's assistant. No more than that. Thus I dropped the idea and took up a Diploma in Hospitality & Tourism Management instead.

Now, without going to a JC, I could still accomplish my ambition. Make my whole family proud by being the 2nd succesful law practitioner. SMU takes me there. But I didn't study harder back then in TP. My GPA sucks. That's already a major letdown.

Admission Criteria:

-Sat 1: Reasoning Test Scores / ACT (American College Test)
(A minimum combined score of 1400 for both critical reading and writing components.)

-A personal statement(not more than 300 words) in the online application

-Interview for shortlisted candidates

-Essay Writing is required for shortlisted applicants



I totally have no confidence in this. I do not have that strong a back up on my written english. Hell no. An alternative route is opened up for me. Yet my hands are tied and there's nothing I can do about it.




Who will be able to understand these setbacks that I'm facing?