♥, *Rin

And so I got over my bad week, recovered from all the sickness & I'm up and well again.
*Grins & does a banana dance* Woo hoo. ;)


I'm currently in a state of mixed emotions. Stoked with a little bit of dread.
I know right. It sounds totally ridiculous but that's how ridiculous I feel too. Hohoho.


Swift update.
I started my holidays feeling unhappy & weary because I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I was thrown into a heap of work technically claimed by my dear yijie as "idiot-proof". But this heap of "idiot-proof" work actually brought me lots of stress, trouble, slight depression, tears & finally to a smile now. The process of it all made me learn alot albeit a tough one. Thinking back, I really wondered and questioned how I made it through having closed 3 deals already. (Truth be told I was expecting none.)


It is my period of hiatus but ironically I've been working hard!
It's the June holidays so I'm only left with a kid for now. He's practically one of the worst kids I ever had. I took him in underpaid, with one main aim. To help him overcome his loss and take the place of his mum who has been the one coaching him. I was already on the verge of giving up. He was not easy to handle. Crying before every single lesson, reluctant to learn, to do homework, to study and all. I don't know was it my lecturings or my long talks with him that had him change overnight. But now, he's one of the best gratifications I have having been tutoring for the last 3~4years? My students are my elixir to staying patient. Really. It's amazing how my patience has grown over the years. & so they say patience is a virtue. ;)


Tutoring's one. Yijie's work is two.
From working with a bunch of people kicking me around not wanting to cooperate, undercut-ing my clients; from all my polite yet formal pleads to almost beg~ none responded. I was treated transparent. I lost a couple of clients as a result of that. I was driven to a corner and finally broke down. You can never imagine the pure heart of mine, wanting to do my best for my best buddy. Yet all that I did was to make things even worse. I could handle nothing. From utmost disappointment, it turned to anger. I blew up and gave up. I threw everything to my boyfriend and asked him to do it instead.

I don't know what came over me. It took me a weekend before I found myself standing up wanting to fight back. I could not accept the fact that I was beaten to the ground with a snap of the fingers. I could not accept being shouted over the phone and treated like a dog when I did nothing at all. Nothing!
& so on that Sunday night, I worked on my best. To display my anger through words with daggers and sarcasm. To each and every one of them regardless of status. Be it employees or supervisors or managers. In my eyes, I no longer give any of them a damn.
B'cus I know I'm fighting for 2. 1, for myself. 2, for yijie.
& that email, got all of their ass working. Life was a breeze thereafter. I've got calls every now and then updating me on every single bit, response was quick, attitude was respectful. >=)
This, is already a very important lesson learnt for me in principles of life.

I don't get anything for doing any of these - sacrifice, travelling to meet clients & broker or working hard.. Truly out of heartfelt & love for my friend, & the fact that I believe what you can do for free and giving your best at it will eventually shape the person you are and want to be albeit a potentially shrinking bank account. Ha. Peace.


I once said there's many things I want to do once the exams are over. But have not breath a single word to any soul bout what they are.
Just to let you in a little, I planned to try new things. Had a taste of photoshooting couple of days ago.
I must say in life we always imagined things to be too simple, or rather, too good to be true.
It takes lots of courage to take the first step. & I did. It wasn't a very pleasant experience for me because I've learnt I'm pretty conservative and I'm generally timid in nature. I know it might be hard to believe I'm actually associated with the word "timid" from the things I say and the way I behave sometimes. But I guess they are just but a coverup for my weak & vulnerable inner-self. & I hate it this way. I expect much more from myself. & I got to start somewhere somehow..


I was chatting with a friend on MSN last weekend. He described 2 things bout me.
First thing he said, "Born a princess, prefers to be a peasant. You ought to be a role model."
In a way, I actually loved the way he said it because I think it's really true. I wasn't born exactly a princess, princess; but I was treated like one and am still treated the same way. I've got all the good in life but many atimes, I feel that they are all too good and I just wished I could have the simpler, whatever it is.
Secondly, he said, "I always knew you've been emo from all your facebook posts. But I never knew you were this sad and weak till today..."
Indeed I am. & for someone I don't know for long, I'm impressed he could actually read me almost 99.9999%. Kudos mate!


So wherever all these I've said would lead, is a story waiting to unfold.
I would like to determine the genre of this story to be an inspirational & purposeful one, with key notes on being a role model in life, to love and be loved, wealth, (Money makes the world go round isn't it. & it was on this aspect that broke my complete and lovely family & brought me to where I am today.) and the randoms. :o)


To this particular friend of mine who actually dreamt of me in a suit as a powerful corporate figure, thank you for believing in me though it's kinda wierd for you to even have a dream of me out of the blue like that. Haha.

We only get to live life once. So we'll see where this goes. I believe it'll be all good & a kickass journey.

Because Rin Ang have the drive to work and be successful. Unlike in her studies.
On this note, she's got a split personality. ;)